i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
