Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
