Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
