I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
