She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
