Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
