In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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