I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
