We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
