If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
