didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
