Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
