I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize