i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
