you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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