Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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