I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
