nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
