Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Who died my cat blue again?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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