Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
