and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
