they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
