Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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