Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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