I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
