Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
