I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
