He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
