I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
