we have pet lesbian snakes
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize