i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
