Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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