is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
