where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
