Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
