At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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