I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
