doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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