By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
