Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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