My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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