ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
