I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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