Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
