I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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