I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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