I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
