I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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