She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
