Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
