Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
