I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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