I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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