went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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