Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you had me at cake vodka
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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