the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
