I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
