Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
