she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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