you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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