and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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