remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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