You're my little dorito
I just pynch a tree in the face
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
