she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
